The Girls I've Been

The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

My rating - 3/5
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I have not picked up a book in quite a while, so my expectations for this book weren't extraordinarily high. Three reasons I chose this book: it's been on my TBR list since this summer, has high ratings, and is in the process of being made into a Netflix film starring Millie Bobby Brown. However, I didn't find myself as emerged or captivated in the story as I'd originally hoped.

Disclaimer: I do admit that I read this novel in a rush, since I've had my hands full with a laughable amount of homework. Therefore, a lot of the plot was lost and I found myself confused more often than I should. This is definitely a fault on my behalf. Yet, this was not a book I simply could not put down, which does not excuse my behavior, but warrants it.

In terms of the plot, I knew from the beginning that the entire novel would be about the bank robbery, but I didn't expect it to feel as elongated as it did. A big reason to why this is is because this is a fast-paced novel. Many things are happening at once, which makes readers feel like much more of the story has progressed than if it were a slower-paced novel. I found myself constantly checking the time to see if I'd been reading for too long. I wouldn't say that I was bored, per say, since I would have put the book down if I had not liked it. Though, I can't say that the experience was worth it to me.

I'd hoped for a plot twist, which is a bad habit of mine seeing as many renowned stories do not consist of one. With the way our main protagonist, Nora, kept avoiding revealing her real name, I was really sure it would be part of a bigger plot. So when it was revealed, I had to re-read the page thinking I'd missed something important. Unless I truly did, there was no significance to her real name apart from her feeling estranged from it. But we knew that since the beginning.

One thing I really liked was the characters and their relationships with one another. I saw a comment on Goodreads the other day arguing that the characters were too similar, as in all of them having trauma made the story repetitive and "absurd." Although in some part I agree that trauma is not the only strategy to flesh out a character, I don't think it was an unrealistic choice to have all the characters have history of trauma and abuse, since the sad reality of it is that it happens in real life. However, I think that if the author wanted to represent that community, it could be done through one character rather than it briefly* being mentioned in three.

*Nora's past with sexual and psychological abuse was explored more in depth than with Wes or Iris. But a lot of the repercussions that come with childhood trauma in adults (or teenagers) weren't evident in her character. This point can easily be dismissed by saying everyone deals with trauma in their own ways. I wish that Iris, Wes, and Nora could have had bigger responses to their trauma which would, in turn, impact their personalities and reactions in the story. Much of the story was the characters trying to explain why they're traumatized instead of how it affects them.

The writing was nothing phenomenal, but I found it easy to read, which helped me finish the book. I've noticed in lots of YA literature, the last sentence of every chapter seems to be a cliffhanger, or ask a question that isn't necessarily answered in the next chapter. As an aspiring writer, I try to avoid "saving the best sentence for last" because it makes the writing overall sound cliché.

I do love the queer representation in this book, as it definitely was not forced, but also had characters that weren't explicitly "out," or in other words, are closeted. A lot of people dislike the "coming out" type of story since it is so overused, and oftentimes appeals to a straight audience. Yet, I think it is super important to represent the idea that it is not so easy to be out. I think this book is right in the middle, where being closeted isn't the entire plot, but is an important subpoint to a character's story.

Overall, I did not adore the book, but it was a good read for sure. I am still excited for the Netflix adaptation. I hope to re-read the book when I get the chance!

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